|
Creative Books
and Music, L.L.C. |
|
|
Copyright © 2004 by Sandra Agazzi Chimenti, M.Ed. All
rights reserved. Win-win situations create peace and happiness as we work together to guide our children in being self-disciplined, happy and healthy individuals. The following suggestions offer positive discipline approaches that really work!
1) Meet basic Needs: Water, food, rest, bathroom usage, age-appropriate exercises, etc. Dehydration causes stress; food preservatives affect moods and behaviors; lack of sleep and exercise affect us physically and emotionally.
2) Assess the Environment: Minimize too much stimulus: bright lights, loud noises, crowds, extreme weather temperatures, too much television or video games, etc. Children absorb their surroundings and filter out negativity through misbehavior.
3) Redirection: Sing favorite songs or tell stories to engage children's attention. Make a game out of following age-appropriate rules and routines.
4) Involvement and Cooperation: Misbehavior seeks attention. Involving children as helpers or participants in what you are doing creates closer family relationships and redirects behaviors.
5) Communication: Talk with your children and listen to them from a place of honesty and love. Speak less, and say more.
6) Awareness of Feelings: Help children become aware of how they are feeling through drawing, writing, talking, and using puppets to role play.
7) Make a Plan: Discover what children need to feel better. Ask how they may help themselves. Ask how you may help. Discuss and share feelings and needs with each other.
8) Self-Reflection: Reflect on your own issues and resolve them first. Children may act out our fears to help us deal with our issues.
9) Observe Your Emotional Tank: When you suppress your emotions, you may be "tanking" your children. Imagine your emotions filling a tank of water and your child's emotions filling another tank. Both tanks are connected at the bottom. As you repress your feelings, you are pushing down your tank of water which causes your child's emotional tank to rise and overflow. Your child may be releasing these excess emotions through his/her tank -- sometimes through misbehavior! Addressing your behavior naturally improves your child's.
10) Imitation: Children imitate our behaviors. Give them something appropriate to imitate.
11) Forgiveness and Apology: Forgive yourself when you miss your pertaining goals and apologize immediately to your children. Model being responsible for one's actions and correcting one's behavior.
12) New Perspective: Children live in a world of imagination. They're not trying to make you upset with their behaviors; they're just being children. See their point of view.
13) Understanding: Don't take things personally. Misbehavior indicates a need for love. Children need loving guidance and understanding.
14) Logical Consequences: Consequences may include talking about each other's needs and discussing better choices. Create the goal of resolving the situation -- not creating further pain and punishment.
15) Acceptance: Accept who you are and who your children are. See one's goodness. We all need to swing from acceptable to unacceptable behavior to know the difference. Eventually, we find balance.
16) Praise and Encouragement: Praise who we are no matter what we do or don't do. Our true nature is wonderful. Praise and encourage positive behavior to create more of the same.
17) Humor and Laughter: See the humorous side to situations, but avoid humiliation. Resolve problems without the battle. Lighten up to enjoy life more.
18) Trust and Respect: When children trust that a loving parent doesn't hurt, the parent/child relationship grows in mutual respect.
19) Commitment: Be committed to doing your best. Be open to classes and counseling for yourself and your family. It's only through change that we grow.
20) Love and Hugs: Always ask: What would "Love" do? Love heals; it doesn't hurt. Misbehavior is a reflection of fear or pain. The last thing children need is more pain. Hitting hurts; hugging helps.
On a spiritual level, your child chose you to be his/her parent. We choose the people in our life for our higher lessons. As we grow, we discover real love and peace within each of us.
Further Reading: The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents by Deepak Chopra, M.D.; The Gentle Art of Communicating with Kids by Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.D.; Healing the Child Within by Charles L. Whitfield, M.D.
Sandra Agazzi Chimenti, author of The Real Me: Awakening Your True Self, is a parent and educator with a master's degree in Early Childhood Education. (The Growing Parents column appeared each month in a local newspaper in Michigan from 2001 - 2007.)
Copyright ©
2005 by
Sandra A. Chimenti, M.Ed. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may
be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or
electronic, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and
retrieval system, without written permission from the author, except for the
inclusion of brief quotations in a review. Please visit
www.CreativeBooksAndMusic.com
or call 1-866-58-CREATE (1-866-582-7328). |
|
Send mail to
info@creativebooksandmusic.com
with questions or comments about this Web site.
|
